Facing your demons
All my life I have heard that you should face your fears, confront your demons and overcome them. That is the only way to become a stronger and better person.
This may actually be true, but I have to admit, I rarely face my demons. I rather avoid them than slay them.
Today however, after quite some pondering, I finally was able to face one of my worst fears.
A very long time ago I had a friend and for some reason which is way to complicated to explain I decided at some point in time not to meet with him any more (no, I’m not gay).
I even ignored his mails and messages for a very long time. This sounds rather evil doesn’t it… And it probably is. Anyway.. That’s the way it is, I cannot change that.
At first I didn’t want to reply to his e-mails, but after a while… I forgot the reason why. I felt so incredibly stupid and dumb.
Yet I still didn’t answer his e-mails. But for a different reason. Fear, doubt, shame…
What would I tell that man… I didn’t really have a good reason (anymore) not to answer his messages. We’ve always been good friends and I changed that…
But ofcourse, one cannot hide forever. A long time after the last word was spoken by me, our doorbell rang…
My mother opened the door and guess who?
Indeed, my (betrayed) friend. We talked for a bit, I made up some dumb reasons why I ignored him. Anyways, to make a long story a bit shorter. I replied to his e-mails again, but not really because I wanted to, because I had to. Still being ashamed…
Months later, he sends me an invite for an event he organized. I didn’t give him an actual reply whether I would make it or not.
This may sound even dumber but for weeks it haunted my mind. Would I or would I not go…
Today, I am proud to announce that I face and conquered one of worst demons. I went to the event and I even had a great time. Oh sure, I’ll probably get punished for this one day (which I probably more than deserve) but in the end… That fear and doubt was all between my ears. I faced this fear and got over it.
All of this, only to tell you: Don’t give in to your fears and doubts. I agree, you cannot win every fight but trust me when I say… You will indeed become a better and a stronger person!
Don’t let anything or anyone ever stand in your way (and I don’t mean that you should massacre someone to reach your goal :P). Face your fears, confront your demons, fight your battle and your mind will be set free.