between love and loving


Not too long ago I read a blog entry of a nice young woman who was talking about love and “real” love. True love so to speak.

One of the statements she made was that not too many people know the meaning of real love. And I find that very correct.

A lot of people around me have a boyfriend or girlfriend. And they claim to be happy, which I’m very sure, is true.
However after a few months/years in their relationship they start to feel that something is lacking.

Something rather familiar, they can’t quite put their finger on it but they just know it is lacking. Specially when something has gone wrong in their relationship.

Some of these people find the courage to talk about these problems (to me, how about that..) and it more and more often comes to my attention that they simply do not understand what “love” is.

You can be in love with someone, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you will start loving this person after a while.

In a lot of cases it appears so that the relationship between 2 people is very shallow, so to speak. There once was love and after some time there is… well… most people don’t know how to finish that sentence anymore.

And that is most of the time when things start to change. That very short instant a person realizes he or she is unable to finish that sentence.
After this event the “thinking” process starts.
Truth being said, there are a few possible outcomes to this process (from what I’ve seen and from what people in my environment tell me about at least).

The first is that they stop the relationship and just hop on to the next one.
No changes are made and the same thing happens again.

Another result is that the person actually realizes something is not right. Know what is missing and starts working on it. Often, sadly enough, resulting in the fact that the relationship ends during the process.
Most come to the conclusion that their current partner has other ideas about love and loving than they do.

The ideal situation is ofcourse that both people in the relationship realize something is “off” and start working together towards new ideals. These people often result in having a very strong and indestructible, stable relationship (which is so great!).

I think, in most cases, what is missing in the relationship, is the definition people have about true love.

Love is more than 2 people liking each other and starting a relationship. Love is everything in your life. Your family, friends, pets, … Every single individual who finds it in his or her heart to look after you, stick with you, care for you, laugh and cry with you, represents it.

It is everywhere, for example: if you make small gesture toward someone (a little gift, a nice compliment, some sweet words) it will mean more than the world to them. You will have brightened this person’s day.

And even so you do not feel the same way about it. There will be a time in your life that you will realize that there is at least some truth in this.

Don’t think I find myself incredibly smart or wise. Far from even, but this is how I honestly feel about life and love.

Care for those around you, love them, comfort them, give them some warmth in cold times and you will be richer than the richest king.

Yes it sounds corny.. But it’s true ;-)

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One thought on “between love and loving

  1. Pingback: People Suck « Tech-o-rama

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